It Becomes A Thing: April 2010

This is a bit late as a post here, but I just found this now.
In late 2008 Ben Stein had an email spam letter circulating that happened to end up in my inbox. I had a few things to say about it.

To quote out of context; I agree with the following of Ben Stein's words:
"I think people who believe in God are sick." Otherwise... yeah.

I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Well, no one ever said America was an atheist country.. in fact it isn't a country at all.. it consists of two continents: a northern flavor and a southern.
What IS explicit is the separation of church and state in the US constitution, so to use descriptors such as "atheist" or "religious" to characterize the country would simply be inapplicable. - like describing a solar system as "religious" or "atheist".
Are the people in and of the country "religious" or "atheist"? Of course they are both. As for having one or the other shoved down my throat, I've personally found the "religious" contingent far more proselytizing than the "atheist" folks.

where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

No one says you have to worship celebrities. That's what freedom of idiocy.. I mean religion.. is all about. We all have the right to believe what we wish. That does NOT mean we have the right to worship how we wish, if in fact that action of worship is harmful to others. Belief takes place inside your own head. Worship is an action with potential consequences for the interactive world, and thus should not be an anything goes proposition.

You understand god? Wow! You must have all the answers then.

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

The old "I remember when" cry of the Reactionary! Reminiscing about times that never were.
Celebrating celebrity is a hallmark of the 20th century, so if you're remembering them "good ol' days", they'd have to be as far back as the 1800s. I neither think you're that old, nor do I believe you wish the country to return to those times.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Too late...

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina)

Sounds like a religious set-up question for a religious person to me.

Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.

I suppose it would seem so to those who are distracted by pretentious platitudes.

She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are,

That makes sense, given that god is made up by human beings, and he, as one of our favourite fictional characters, would be imbued with the same emotions as we.

but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools,

Was he ever there to begin with?

to get out of our government

Where he's not needed or wanted.. as it is written!

and to get out of our lives.

As we grow out of any need for him.

And being the gentleman He is,

with a top hat, bow tie and cane…

I believe He has calmly backed out.

I'm sorry, the statement you were attempting to utter has been negated of all reasonable contemplation by the preface, 'I believe…'"

How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?

If god is omnipotent, that would not be a restriction on his action, would it now?

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.

"In light of recent events"... which have been going on throughout human history. Why do apocalypsists always point in surprise at these things?

I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

You think your woes started with Madeleine Murray O'Hare? Why stop there? Why not go further back.. Darwin, Sartre, Nietzsche, ..Galileo.. And any of the many other purveyors of logic and reason.

"She was murdered…"
So nonchalantly mentioned.. as if that would be an appropriate response to her activism.
That seems all too religiously typical. (Reminds me of the thinly veiled threats from RevolutionMuslim towards the South Park guys.)

"complained"? Interesting choice of words to belittle the intent.
I suppose we had to let those pesky negroes free too, when they "complained" about being enslaved.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school.

No one just up and said such a thing, in fact no one said that at all.
The goofy thing can be assigned to reading lists, just like any other work of fiction. It just shouldn't be taught from as if it were a text book.

The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Just because the blah blah has those (among other things) written in it, does not mean that it is the sole, or even the best source of such moral messages. In fact, I would argue that it is indeed one of the worst suggested guides for moral or ethical instruction.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem  

Are parents really so feeble-minded that they can't control their children without beating on them?
If a parent finds a child's misbehavior so very unmanageable, that they must resort to physical violence to assuage their own frustration, then the situation points directly to that parent's lack of coping ability, and lack of suitability as a parent.

( Dr Spock's son committed suicide).

To imply that a supposed suicide of Dr. Spock's son is directly attributable to his theories about childcare is in amazingly poor taste.
Let's blame Lou Gehrig's disease on baseball while we're at it.

And even more poignant perhaps.. ARE THE FACTS!
Dr. Spock's son DID NOT commit suicide, neither is he the least bit dead. This is simply misinformation! (Harkening back to your speech writing days, are we Ben?)

http://www.snopes.com/medical/doctor/drspock.asp

We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

We shouldn't be taking you with a grain of salt either then, I suppose.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

"Now"?! ... Where have you been for the last 5000 years, that you think it has gotten anything but markedly BETTER in the last 200!

Education, nutrition and peaceful coexistence used to be unattainable luxuries for the masses. Now we see them as inalienable rights.
Wanting conditions used to precipitate horrible atrocities between human beings, and they still do, where those necessities are lacking.

If anything we have more ethically conscientious, intelligent, well-balanced young people now than ever before.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

You reference a cause-effect relationship, but the correlation remains completely unfounded.
"If we think about it long and hard enough.."?
If we continue looking inside our own heads for answers to outside questions, we ultimately end up trapped on the other side of the solution. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.

"I think it has..."
Don't you really mean "I believe..."?

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell

Yes.. funny, and Yes.. simple.
The world is only going to hell for those who believe in such a thing.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Or maybe question both with a healthy mind.. giving more credence to newspapers, because they are independently verifiable. .. while on the other hand, it's not even clear WHAT the bible is trying to say.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Because jokes have universal appeal, whereas your lord is only a make-believe monarch to a few.
And no.. Those who believe the religious crap do not think twice about sending it on, they follow blindly, like sheep, without thinking for themselves about the content of such messages.
Those who don't believe in it, either delete it outright, or waste hours responding to it, because it entertains them.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace,

Wait.. Isn't that what cyberspace is for?
And besides, "lewd", "crude", "vulgar", and "obscene" are all vague, subjective assessments, not fit for use in proper critique.

but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.   

And:::
You don't discuss the moistness of your girlfriend's sasquatch with her father.
And you don't talk about your wonderful trip to Vegas to the widow at her husband's funeral.
And you don't show your cub scout troop your new nipple rings.
Because it's INAPPROPRIATE.

Are you laughing yet?   

Hell yeah!

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on    your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they    will think of you for sending it.

So I'm forwarding the message now? When did we decide that?

  Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Maybe because people can be cruel and judgmental.. Oh wait, the christian god reserves the right to be exactly those things!

  Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did.

Is that some sort of passive-aggressive guilt thing you're trying? That's hilarious! I prefer to lampoon it.

But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

Because you've laid out the causes and effects to the exclusion of all other possibilities! Methinks not.

    My Best Regards,

From your self righteous, condescending tower…

Honestly and respectfully,

... But not altogether truthfully or accurately.

   Ben Stein

…'s Money (Cancelled)

An interesting little piece ran on the front page of the January 1, 1901 Newark Daily Advocate (Newark, Ohio). It expounded on the possibilities imagined for advancements in the year 2001. You can find it in the archives of the Paleofuture.com site
I just thought I'd make my own version of it. I love the jargon, concepts and language evolution.

One hundred years hence, what manner of marvels shall adorn our every-day?

Will a man's suit be decanted onto his person before breakfast, or might he take his morning constitutional fully exposed?

Will the steam locomotive require its daily coal concentrated in pastille form?

Will the men of congress tele-phone in the votes of their elected duty?

Will immigrant Moon men tend to dish-washing and street-sweeping as the Formosan or Spaniard does today?

Will the sweet nectar of the orange drip from the pulp in purple?

Will the seamstress employ a petite hammer and nails to hem a gown of gossamer metals?

Will airships serve as arks, traversing the ethers between worlds, to populate them with flora and fauna, two by two?

Will the cuisine of the Eskimo be vended at the neighbourhood grocery?

Will the cones of the spruce be bred to glow like candles on Christmas?

Will common currency be replaced by a small plastic card with a magnetic strip that tallies charges?

Will meat-loaf find its primary ingredient in the cracker barrel, rather than with the butcher?

Will chapeaux and bowlers be festooned with electric lights?

Will mammoth cats chase lap dogs down alleyways?

Will this endeavor prove more tedious than either clever or amusing?

It Becomes A Thing

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Rant: Ben Stein's Letter

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Prejidenture Candledates

One Hundred Years Hence

Neologasms

Teen Sex Prison

Happy Belated Easter.. or whatever

I'm the one who is this:

The Part of the Blog that is the Blog Stuff