Monday, December 17, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Peter Griffin | Woman's Shirt
Did you ever notice that Peter Griffin is wearing a woman's shirt. Take a look at which side the buttons are on. This evidence, coupled with the fact that he tried to nurse Stewie once, leads me to believe that he may in fact (.. in cartoon fact) be a woman.
Friday, October 19, 2007
I'm justice smart ass, you.
When someone asks, "What's up?" I have to say, " 'Up' is the direction away from the nearest and strongest center of gravity."
This is because I'm so damned clever and smug.
OK.. now here's a more difficult one.. What's "in"..
You may not use the word "in" in your definition, nor any word containing "in-" or "en-".
Show your work, and only use a number two pencil. Points will be deducted for consulting god or gods for your answer.
This is because I'm so damned clever and smug.
OK.. now here's a more difficult one.. What's "in"..
You may not use the word "in" in your definition, nor any word containing "in-" or "en-".
Show your work, and only use a number two pencil. Points will be deducted for consulting god or gods for your answer.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Dirty Bath Towels
OK... here's something. How come we have to wash bath towels? Aren't we supposed to be clean when we step out of the shower? If we're drying our "clean" bodies off with a towel, then the towel should be perpetually clean, shouldn't it? ... And thus begins my stand-up comedy routine.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Devil Blames Self for Carnage
(Reprint correction from previous issue "Devil Blames Elf for Carnage" - 1/15/07)
A written confession by Satan as deposed to the L.A.P.D. office of pre-representative interrogation:
I started talking to myself recently. Ya know, I tend to be quite a lonely guy. I must admit, being the Prince of Darkness doesn't put me at the top of the social calendar. With that I began to mumble to myself under my breath - breath of fire and brimstone, of course. ; ) My voice became clearer and louder, from a whisper to an evil, gravelly baritone. At first I couldn't make out what I was saying, but then it became overwhelming. I was telling myself to go out and commit acts of horrible, bloody flesh-churning violence. Not just telling - commanding. Without being fully cognizant of my actions, I turned suggestion into bone shattering reality. What was I to do but obey. Well, some may say "just don't obey", but they fail to realize just what a relentlessly manipulative terror I can be to a tortured, lonely, outcast soul such as myself. Long story short - limbs, guts, heads on poles. You get the picture. All because the Devil wouldn't take no for an answer. Even now I can hear the evil bastard ratting me out. Anyhooz, that's that in a nutshell.
© 2007 wjk It Becomes a Thing
A written confession by Satan as deposed to the L.A.P.D. office of pre-representative interrogation:
I started talking to myself recently. Ya know, I tend to be quite a lonely guy. I must admit, being the Prince of Darkness doesn't put me at the top of the social calendar. With that I began to mumble to myself under my breath - breath of fire and brimstone, of course. ; ) My voice became clearer and louder, from a whisper to an evil, gravelly baritone. At first I couldn't make out what I was saying, but then it became overwhelming. I was telling myself to go out and commit acts of horrible, bloody flesh-churning violence. Not just telling - commanding. Without being fully cognizant of my actions, I turned suggestion into bone shattering reality. What was I to do but obey. Well, some may say "just don't obey", but they fail to realize just what a relentlessly manipulative terror I can be to a tortured, lonely, outcast soul such as myself. Long story short - limbs, guts, heads on poles. You get the picture. All because the Devil wouldn't take no for an answer. Even now I can hear the evil bastard ratting me out. Anyhooz, that's that in a nutshell.
© 2007 wjk It Becomes a Thing
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Infographic
I made this a while back in the same style as they do on The Onion.
©2007 wjk It Becomes a Thing
©2007 wjk It Becomes a Thing
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Ramen Anois!
This reporter's name got me pinching myself to see if I was asleep and having a weird dream. My mind could easily have pulled "Ramen Anois!" from Julie Rogue's recent comment to Máire's state fair pic on Scáitháinín Mháire.
... Yeah... I know... his facial expression - You shouldn't chew toffees when you're drunk. (or taffee, if you're an American)
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
First Day of Class...
Today was my first day of class back at the U of M to start my Masters (and hopefully continue on with my Doctorate) Degree.
One class today.. Another new one tomorrow.
Only one difficulty with the class. I came in and sat down - pretty much in the very middle of the herd of desks, so as to seem neither too eager nor too cloaked. Immediately, a swarm of very good-looking guys rustled in and proceeded to arrange themselves tightly around me, as if I were the 5 in a key pad, and they the remaining numbers. With that, I new my concentration on matters serious and pertinent to my education - at least for this class - would be strenuously challenged, if not DOOMED.
Linguistics guys aren't supposed to be cute?! WTF!
[I yoinked the above passage from an email I sent earlier today. I thought it was so descriptive that I just had to post it here too.]
One class today.. Another new one tomorrow.
Only one difficulty with the class. I came in and sat down - pretty much in the very middle of the herd of desks, so as to seem neither too eager nor too cloaked. Immediately, a swarm of very good-looking guys rustled in and proceeded to arrange themselves tightly around me, as if I were the 5 in a key pad, and they the remaining numbers. With that, I new my concentration on matters serious and pertinent to my education - at least for this class - would be strenuously challenged, if not DOOMED.
Linguistics guys aren't supposed to be cute?! WTF!
[I yoinked the above passage from an email I sent earlier today. I thought it was so descriptive that I just had to post it here too.]
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Mo Dhroim
Chaith mé… nó “theilg” mé mo dhroim as alt Dé Máirt seo caite.
Chrom mé síos d’fhonn mealbhacán uisce a thógáil as an gcuisneoir agus mé a ghortú mo dhroim mar sin. Thuigfeadh Máire an staid agus an pian atá orm anois.
Níor féidir liom an rud trom a chur ar ais sa gcuisneoir, mar sin d’ith mé an rud uilig.
Chrom mé síos d’fhonn mealbhacán uisce a thógáil as an gcuisneoir agus mé a ghortú mo dhroim mar sin. Thuigfeadh Máire an staid agus an pian atá orm anois.
Níor féidir liom an rud trom a chur ar ais sa gcuisneoir, mar sin d’ith mé an rud uilig.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Old Posts
Update 140224
I see that the links for these have gone stale, so I'll just update and add the whole stuff right here.
Original Post 070725
A hundred years ago, back when the internet was a mere mass of text... well, o k, still, .. sometime within this new century, but far enough back... I put some neologisms up on a site that has now become a wiki! I just remembered having done that, and had to go track it down again. I can hardly remember my exact entries... sad face.. but will have to look through the whole word list now in order to find them all. - not so unfun. Now that it's a wiki though, there is no credit given to the contributors, so my word babies now float freely in commonspace without any reference to where they came from. THAT is how etymologies get broken, and we have entries in Merriam Webster like this:
Cuddle
etymology: uhhhhhhhh. Ah dunnooooo, eh?
(I wonder if it might be related to the Irish word codladh? j/k)
(This was a poke-joke at Mary)
I remembered these as being my contributions. Some were words I used with friends and family; some were words I cobbled together for fun:
Gloopgleep
unedited from the original version! Yay!
An over-the-top comic relief character in movies or tv. That character being so annoying that you hate it. Examples are, Jar Jar Binks (the king of gloopgleeps), That alien monkey thing from the Lost in Space movie, Mac from Mac and Me, The "brownies" from Willow. Orbity from the Jetsons reboot. Scrappy Doo.
Origin: A consmashulation of both the names of the comic relief aliens from the animation Herculoids.
B'weet
pronunciation key incorrectly edited by someone who thought IPA wasn't good enough. Vowel in place of apostrophe should be a schwa. What do they think this is a sci fi alien's name?
A piece of wild hair that sticks up, out of control, from your head.
Origin: My little brother coined the term when we were kids, referring to the character Buckwheat from The Little Rascals, and how his hair stuck up all over.
Drizzmial
nicely unchanged.
That feeling of slight, but not overwhelming depression brought on by a day of constant but weak rain.
Origin: A portmanteau of "drizzle" and "dismal", with an extra vowel thrown in for consistency.
Fedoralingo
Pretty much as I wrote it.
The slang of the 1930's and 40's.
Origin: combination of the name of the hat that was popular then (and apparently again now), and the word "lingo," meaning language.
Kantapa
something with the text encoding makes the ää appear as question marks. What's that about? ... And I guess my cousin's grandma has become my own?
The best part, or bite, of a food. Examples: The tip of a slice of pizza, the middle piece of a square cake. The cherry on top. This is certainly a subjective term, so examples may vary.
The Finnish word for the heal of a loaf of bread. To trick kids into eating it, one would proffer it as the best part.
Stop-afoot
Almost forgot about this one.
Now I just have to figure out how to get my credit put back on my entries. I see that there are entries attributed to some specific names.
The opposite of "Go-ahead". when a boss or superior puts the kibosh on your plan or idea (seemingly for no reason.)
Das Blinkenlights
The flashing, blinking lights on the computers in old sci-fi movies, seemingly having no real function except to do just that, and to indicate, "this is the computer".
Origin: Guy Harrison coined the term, using as we did, German to indicate something was ridiculous.
Chowzers
The meal in between lunch and dinner, which is not the British "tea." Similar to brunch for breakfast and lunch.
Origin: Mary and I came up with it on a whim.
I see that the links for these have gone stale, so I'll just update and add the whole stuff right here.
Original Post 070725
A hundred years ago, back when the internet was a mere mass of text... well, o k, still, .. sometime within this new century, but far enough back... I put some neologisms up on a site that has now become a wiki! I just remembered having done that, and had to go track it down again. I can hardly remember my exact entries... sad face.. but will have to look through the whole word list now in order to find them all. - not so unfun. Now that it's a wiki though, there is no credit given to the contributors, so my word babies now float freely in commonspace without any reference to where they came from. THAT is how etymologies get broken, and we have entries in Merriam Webster like this:
Cuddle
etymology: uhhhhhhhh. Ah dunnooooo, eh?
(I wonder if it might be related to the Irish word codladh? j/k)
(This was a poke-joke at Mary)
I remembered these as being my contributions. Some were words I used with friends and family; some were words I cobbled together for fun:
Gloopgleep
unedited from the original version! Yay!
An over-the-top comic relief character in movies or tv. That character being so annoying that you hate it. Examples are, Jar Jar Binks (the king of gloopgleeps), That alien monkey thing from the Lost in Space movie, Mac from Mac and Me, The "brownies" from Willow. Orbity from the Jetsons reboot. Scrappy Doo.
Origin: A consmashulation of both the names of the comic relief aliens from the animation Herculoids.
B'weet
pronunciation key incorrectly edited by someone who thought IPA wasn't good enough. Vowel in place of apostrophe should be a schwa. What do they think this is a sci fi alien's name?
A piece of wild hair that sticks up, out of control, from your head.
Origin: My little brother coined the term when we were kids, referring to the character Buckwheat from The Little Rascals, and how his hair stuck up all over.
Drizzmial
nicely unchanged.
That feeling of slight, but not overwhelming depression brought on by a day of constant but weak rain.
Origin: A portmanteau of "drizzle" and "dismal", with an extra vowel thrown in for consistency.
Fedoralingo
Pretty much as I wrote it.
The slang of the 1930's and 40's.
Origin: combination of the name of the hat that was popular then (and apparently again now), and the word "lingo," meaning language.
Kantapa
something with the text encoding makes the ää appear as question marks. What's that about? ... And I guess my cousin's grandma has become my own?
The best part, or bite, of a food. Examples: The tip of a slice of pizza, the middle piece of a square cake. The cherry on top. This is certainly a subjective term, so examples may vary.
The Finnish word for the heal of a loaf of bread. To trick kids into eating it, one would proffer it as the best part.
Stop-afoot
Almost forgot about this one.
Now I just have to figure out how to get my credit put back on my entries. I see that there are entries attributed to some specific names.
The opposite of "Go-ahead". when a boss or superior puts the kibosh on your plan or idea (seemingly for no reason.)
Das Blinkenlights
The flashing, blinking lights on the computers in old sci-fi movies, seemingly having no real function except to do just that, and to indicate, "this is the computer".
Origin: Guy Harrison coined the term, using as we did, German to indicate something was ridiculous.
Chowzers
The meal in between lunch and dinner, which is not the British "tea." Similar to brunch for breakfast and lunch.
Origin: Mary and I came up with it on a whim.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Griandóite
Tá mé griandóite thuas ar mo cheann, faoi mo chuid gruaige. An arú deireadh seachtaine seo caite, bhí mé amuigh ag an bhfeis Bróid na nAerach anseo, agus bhí mé amuigh faoin ngrian dhá lá ar fad. Anois, tá mé ag scamhadh is ag scoitheadh mo chraiceann.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Sunday, June 10, 2007
An bhlag agus an bhlag eile
Rinne mé le Máire blag eile aréir.
http://7rl.blogspot.com/
Cuirfidh muid suas rudaí faoi an teanga Ghaeilge, chomh maith le "catagoacha" - "lolcats" atá orthu as Béarla. Tá súil agam ab fhéidir linn é a choinneáil. Sílim go mbeidh sé taithí mhaith.
Bhí mé i rith an lae inné istigh i mo shuí riomh an ríomhaire. Ní raibh sé go maith do mo chorp, agus bhí mé ar cur beagán fola istigh i mo shúil dheis. Rachaidh sé chun sochair dom dul amach inniu ar feadh scathaimh.
Níl a fhios agam cé ag Ken, agus a phictiúir a thurais. Duirt sé go dtaispeána sé iad orainn inniu, b'fhéidir.
http://7rl.blogspot.com/
Cuirfidh muid suas rudaí faoi an teanga Ghaeilge, chomh maith le "catagoacha" - "lolcats" atá orthu as Béarla. Tá súil agam ab fhéidir linn é a choinneáil. Sílim go mbeidh sé taithí mhaith.
Bhí mé i rith an lae inné istigh i mo shuí riomh an ríomhaire. Ní raibh sé go maith do mo chorp, agus bhí mé ar cur beagán fola istigh i mo shúil dheis. Rachaidh sé chun sochair dom dul amach inniu ar feadh scathaimh.
Níl a fhios agam cé ag Ken, agus a phictiúir a thurais. Duirt sé go dtaispeána sé iad orainn inniu, b'fhéidir.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
One Answers a Questionnaire
1. In five words or less, describe what you do for a living. (Don't be cute.)
I learn. I wait.
2. If you were worth $40 billion and had already bought and donated everything you wanted to, would you spend $40 million on a beautiful Van Gogh painting?
No. I don’t like Van Gogh.
3. Would you spend $40 million on a 200-foot yacht?
Yes. Then I would put $40 million worth of treasure in it and sink it. Then, hundreds of years from now someone will find it and remark, “Wow! Some idiot thought we would find this and be rich, but this treasure isn’t worth anything these days.”
4. How many times have you been engaged to be married?
The same number of times any black person or woman went to vote in the 1880 presidential elections.
5. Did you have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend in high school?
I didn’t have a steady one, or an unsteady one.
THREE MARX BROTHERS-THEMED QUESTIONS:
6. Have you ever had a day at the races?
I don’t know what this is referring to.
7. Have you ever had a night at the opera?
I have been to an opera. It sucked. My mind was on other things.
8. Have you ever eaten duck soup?
Yes
9. If you accomplish something major that you're proud of, and nobody gives you any credit for it, does that bother you?
I’m constantly being offered credit. I just throw them in the trash. But seriously, the worth of any “something major” would stand on its own.
10. Of all the things that your "dream house" will have (which your current place of residence does not), what are the three most important?
light… air… color…
11. Who is the most famous person you've ever met? ("Met" = at least exchanged two words with face-to-face, preferably shook hands with)
I’m not saying.
12. Have you ever seen a U.S. President in person? (You didn't have to meet him)
I’ve probably met an ancestor of some future president.
13. If you go to a favorite restaurant, do you always order the same dish or do you mix it up a bit?
Hellz yeah. I’m so predictable that I even eat the items in the same order.
14. When was the last time either of your parents saw you naked?
No.
15. What town did you grow up in? What was the best thing about it? The worst thing?
I was a kid in Big Timber Montana. The best thing about it was the cute boys. The worst thing about it was that those cute boys would have lynched me for being gay.
I was a teenager in Grand Rapids Minnesota. The best thing about it was the cute boys. The worst thing about it was that those cute boys would have lynched me for being gay.
16. What town do you live in now? What was the best thing about it? The worst thing?
I live in Minneapolis. It is the most awesomest city ever! … and it’s getting better all the time. All we’re missing is an ocean and some mountains. I’m all for bringing back Lake Agassiz. I’ll get my little plastic shovel and start on some mountains.
17. When you Google your name, in quotes, how many results do you get?
They're all dead guys. (None of them me….. yet)
18. What's your astrological sign, and do you think your personality is typical of that sign's supposed traits?
I’m a Sagittarius, so I guess, no, because I don’t have a bow and arrows, and I don’t have a horses ass…. Oh… personality? Well, how am I supposed to know what kind of personality a guy who’s half horse would have?
19. What household items do you have more of than you need?
None. Give me household items.
20. Name something you ate all the time as a kid that you wouldn't touch now.
I pretty much move forward with my food repertoire. I add things eaten. I don’t subtract them.
I Don't Like the Word Blog
Did I ever mention that I don't like the word "blog". It sounds like a log that is covered with that stuff that washes up on the beach. It's kind of foamy, but has chunks of detritus suspended in it. You know that stuff. Well, I don't like that stuff. I guess I've heard that stuff called "shlog", but that sounds too much like german whipped cream... I guess... Not enough not to have it influence my feeling about blogs.
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