It Becomes A Thing

An Grinch ar Ghoid na Nollag

2011-12-11T20:15:00.004-06:00

A version of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, adapted for the Irish by myself and Máire Eoghain, of Scátháinín Mháire, for her Meánrang Gaeilge, 2011.
You can find this and other fun Irish goodies over at our blogger site, Agus Aráile, 7rl.blogspot.com

Baineadh sult as an Nollaig i mbaile na Who,
Ach théadh an Grinch thar an tséasur gan fiú.

Bhí an ghráin ag an nGrinch ar an Nollaig, fadó.
Bhí a chroíse chomh fuar agus róbheag faoi dhó.

"Caithfidh mé stop a chur uirthi go deo!"

Níor mhaith leis an torann, ná bréagáin na féile,
Síor-canadh is casadh is 'chuile shórt eile.

"Gread leis an gcallán is guthanna caola!
Curfaidh mé scrios ar a mbuac na teile!"

Go tobann ansin, chum seisean a bheart.
Foirfe go holc, is go foirfe mícheart.

Shleamhnaigh sé síos isteach ina dtithe,
Idir gach uile Who, ag codladh sa luí.
'Chuile Who-leanbh sa leaba theolaí.

Ghoid sé na bronntanais sactha sna stocaí,
Féiríní beaga 's crainn mhóra fhlocaithe;

Gach mír den bhia is gach naipcín gréasta;
Thóg seisean uatha fiú rósta an fhéasta.

Ach tugadh faoi deara an gadaí ag Who,
Páiste amháin, tugtar léi Cindy Lou.

"Cé thusa ansin? Cén fáth ' bhfuil tú ann?
Céard atá tú ag déanamh anois lenár gcrann?"

"Cuirfidh mé caoi ar bholgán amháin.
Sin í an chúis a tháinig mé ann.
Agus beidh mé ar ais le bhur stuif agus crann.
Mar sin, téigh a luí, agus ná bí ag stán'."

Ansin chuig a chluas, bhí fuaim ag teacht.
Glortha ag séideadh go soléir is beacht.

Ach ní raibh siad brónach ar bith, nó go dona.
Ba é ceol lán d'armóin agus mothú an-sona.

Cé go ndearna sé cinnte a dhícheall beag scallta,
Baineadh tada amach ansin, go ginearalta.

Tháinig an Nollaig in ainneoin a iarrachta.
Bhí na Whos fós ag ceiliúradh in aghaidh a choireachta.

"B'fhéidir nach bhfuil as na siopaí an bhrí,
Ach maireann an Nollaig anseo inár gcroíthe!"

D'fhoghlaim an Grinch gur an meon an ní 's deise.
Bíonn rudaí go deas, ach níl siad ach breise.

Tháinig an mothú isteach ina chroí,
Agus maireann sé beo ansin ceart i gconaí.

Mar a d'fhás a chroí féin an lá maith sin faoi thrí.
Agus maireann sé beo ansin ceart i gconaí!!

The Other Half

2011-12-02T21:15:00.002-06:00

"I'll pray for you."

2011-11-14T18:00:00.002-06:00

What Christians mean when they say, "I'll pray for you."

Here's my question to you, Mr. or Ms. Christian; Why even bother telling me, an atheist, that you will pray for me? However you imagine that playing out, it is at best a misuse of communication, and at worst a product of coercion.

You're communicating dishonestly-

Mentioning it to me gets you nowhere with me. I can't imagine you don't already realise that I think prayer is a waste of time.
If you were really concerned for me, and thought that sending psychic messages to your imaginary sky ghost would help, then why don't you just do that, and not tell me you are going to do it? That would make much more sense, if indeed you actually believed such un-efforts would be efficacious. But why mention it? Because the weight of your intent is not actually on the prayer, is it? However silly that alone would be, you are just trying to shirk further discussion, when faced with cognitive dissonance.
You throw the phrase off like a lizard detaches its tail, and in some part of your mind, you may also realise the phrase is worthless in its literal sense.

You're just being selfish-

When you realise that you're being dishonest, you wish to mitigate your own self-judgment by hearing yourself saying what you believe to be righteous words.
'There, I said the nice *christian* thing.. I'm good.. I'm not a liar for jesus."

You think you're being watched-

You're putting on a show for your imaginary judge. You've got to choose carefully from that limited christianese phrase set, don't you? If you don't say the appropriate magic words, then it will show up as a negative tick on your heavenly credit score. Your god is watching you! Never mind the inconsistency that he's supposedly all-knowing in the first place, and would discern you're underlying, platitude encrusted motivations anyway.
But it doesn't end there! Who else is watching? Other christians.
Despite what they say, they do judge, and you're afraid of that. You have to be careful not to say what you're really thinking, like "fuck off," lest your congregation cast a glance of disparagement your way.

So let's try just a bit harder to put an honest face on it, shall we? If you really and truly wish to pray for me, go ahead and clench your eyelids resolutely firm to your little delusional hearts content, dance a dance, make a grass doll, whatever. I just don't need to hear about it. And if you think I do, take a long hard think about these, your more probable motivations.

Pumpcarvings

2011-10-30T15:48:00.004-06:00

Three pans of lasagna and a massive pumpkin for each ensured a good time was had by all.

I got pumpkin slime all over my iphone screen. I guess that will teach me not to be constantly on my mobile device while elbow deep in gourd guts. By the looks of this pic, I could have used the 4S's stabilization feature, too.

Mine is lowermost right.

Festivities continue Monday with the handing out of the candy! (One for you, and two for me. One for you, and three for me.)

Apparently, My Ass Is No Asset

2011-10-06T19:45:00.001-06:00

In which I link my latest disappointment back to politics and religion.

I was brainstorming how to make some quick cash, and thought back to an article I was reading, about how research institutions really need bodies to do research on..

http://tinyurl.com/3o9zqlz

..and so I thought, hey, I wonder how much I could get if I sold my future corpse to science. Sounded like a good idea to me. Supply and demand! There's probably alotta fun stuff inside this bizarre set of guts.
But then I was researching it further, and found out that it is, seemingly for no good reason, illegal to sell bodies or body parts, even if they're your own, in these United States, and in each of the states of these United States.
Instead, we are prodded, with a strong undertone of moral sanction, to just hand over our most precious asset (our actual former selves) to those researchers who would seek to both deal in and deny its commodity.

"Your donation should be made in the spirit of a truly priceless gift for mankind and the advancement of health sciences."

Blah blah blah giveusyourbodyforfree blah.

What are the honest reasons behind this quaint proscription? I wager, the self-same religious "sacred body" jibberty jabber mentioned in that article.
Oh, Reginald, we mustn't trample on the "soul", cheapen up the "chakras", or debase the "spirit" of the deceased's former temple.
Laws against such an otherwise reasonable transaction can only be based in superstitious sensitivities and rooted in the antiquated asshattery that has yet to be fully flushed out of our societal system.
I'm winking at you, religion.

Hey, wait! What happened to our great capitalist society?! Why isn't the political Right jumping all over this? Oh, that's right, they have to play the doublethink game and play to the diametrically opposed constituents of their base: the fundie religious, and the free-market wheeler-dealers. And since this idea would step on the toes of the already panicky social reactionaries, the fundie card trumps on this one.
And why isn't the Left up in arms.. or rather, flowers.. about the infringement that is unjustly and unreasonably restricting our personal right to happiness in determining the manner by which our remains meet their ultimate destiny? Oh, that's right, they have to tiptoe around the egg shells of political correctness. We shouldn't dare to possibly disrespect anyone's sacred beliefs. Especially if those beliefs happen to have been sneaked in and codified by law. Everyone has the right not to be offended, after all.
Sure, I can understand a ban on selling other people's body parts. That sort of market would conjure the whole woke-up-in-a-bathtub-full-of-ice-with-a-surgical-scar-missing-a-kidney scenario. But my own body parts?! My own whole body? That's gotta be worth something. And I was under the impression that it was mine to do with as I pleased.. well, except apparently, use "controlled substances" on it, sell it for sex, or voluntarily stop its life functions.. but that's a whole nother set of somewhat related issues.
Can't say there wouldn't be any purchase interest, if they were being honest, especially with all the interesting complications of diabetes churning around in this walking zombie. But then, of course, the arms of those institutions of higher learning would be hard twisted to start actually paying for something they've always gotten for free.. or clandestinely dug out of the local paupers' field. That's the real reason they're so quick to leverage that "spirit of giving" "betterment of mankind" spiel. For them too, it's just all a matter of the cash.
If they want it, they can buy it.
Their moral outrage is plastic.

So, fuck 'em. They're not willing to fork over fare trade value, they're getting squat. My corpus is going in the furnace.

Root Beer Milk?

2011-10-03T12:44:00.004-06:00

In the Supermarket I sees this amazing new product. Rootbeer flavoured milk! For times when you crave that poorly disguised children's medicine taste, combined with a thick mucous inducing consistency.

And not only is it "Select", folks, but also "artificially flavored", for those times when you want your viscous medicine fluid to also bear down on your internals like ever so much plastic.

Theists are so Clever (sarcasm)

2011-09-28T13:54:00.002-06:00

This placard encountered on facebook here, with this addition from the poster:

" 'Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning...' — C.S. Lewis "

This assay endeavors to be witty on the basis of a number of disingenuous straw-man arguments and projection. It fancies itself an artful attempt at objection to atheism, but ends up failing as badly in its aim as the erstwhile flat-earther complaint, "If the earth is round, why don't we all fall off?"
Let's see exactly what's wrong with it.

Firstly, the attempted lampoon, in trying to attack atheism, fails to address it at all. Instead, it tries to aim its spit-wad caliber missiles at firmly evidenced, scientifically based, standard cosmological and biological principles; and doesn't even represent them accurately. Know what you're attacking before you rush head-long into idiocy.

Atheism is not a belief system. It has no dogma and promotes no claims. It is the simple *lack* of belief in a god or gods. We are all atheist with respect to the gods we don't happen to believe in. Do we believe in Amaterasu? No. Most likely because most people don't even know which of the many gods that is. We are atheist in respect to it. Don't think your particular god is special, or any different than any of the rest. People who define themselves as atheists today simply lack a belief in all gods. So right from the start, "Atheism, The belief that.." is fallacious.

Secondly, no one I know of on this planet holds the belief that "there was nothing". Not cosmologists; who only extrapolate on the basis of sound evidence back to a quantum singularity; which is something, not nothing; Not agnostics, who don't address the subject at all on the basis that we can't know either way about gods, creation, something or nothing; And not theists, who are the ones who postulate a variety of incongruous and mutually incompatible *magic* creators, without any evidence for such beings, who *magically* brought everything into existence with no description of the method. They postulate without basis a supernatural cause, and fail to explain the connection between that cause and its effect. That is the very definition of magic.
Yes, it is the theist who believes in magic, not the atheist.
And the bottom line is, there may or may not have been nothing. We don't know, but atheism has nothing to say on the subject.

And Thirdly, the poster's assertion of atheism being too simplistic, on top of her tired old claim that a universe without a god has no meaning, via C.S. Lewis; That is what is too simplistic. Human beings assign meaning to their lives and the elements in their lives. That is not a depraved view of meaning by any stretch. It wonderfully speaks to the way we can describe how we fit *naturally* into our world and this universe. There is no need, and indeed no evidence to assume some supernatural meaning-assigner. That, in and of itself, is yet another instance of projection; of anthropomorphizing the universe as an intelligence. That's what is too simplistic, too juvenile, and not well thought out.

Is atheism simple? Yes. Is it too simple? Not unless you try to misconstrue it as a belief system, or a means by which answers are derived. But atheism is, as I've stated, not a belief system. It makes no claims. It doesn't pretend to answer any questions, and doesn't seek, unlike the many religions of the world, to fill in the gaps of our knowledge with the unsatisfactory and dishonest place-holder of "god did it". That's not an answer. It describes nothing; explains nothing. It has no basis in reality. It is honest to admit there are things we don't know. Making up gods for those things we have yet to figure out is no answer at all.
The next disjointed and overreaching assertion religious people usually jump to is that atheists don't believe in anything at all then. That's not true either. Just because atheism doesn't provide a belief system by itself, doesn't mean that we, as human beings, don't derive our beliefs elsewhere. We just don't happen to tie them to unsubstantiated myths, fairytales, or imaginary friends. I for one, value belief in things that are supported by evidence. Some atheists find meaning in the pursuit of science, others in the tasks of humanism.. or both. There are many belief systems that have nothing to do with the idea of gods, even religions- some forms of Buddhism, for example. We shouldn't assume that those who differ in their beliefs from us are in some way devoid of belief, meaning, ethics or morals.

To finish up, let's look at some of the *filler* in this supposedly clever epithetic paragraph.

"..nothing happened to nothing.." - Utterly meaningless. Who would claim such a thing? Though atheists usually cannot be generalized in most ways religious people would like, I can assure you, we would not.

"..then nothing magically exploded for no reason.." - A quantum singularity is not nothing. It didn't explode, it expanded. To say that everything that occurs has to have a reason, i.e., goal oriented intelligence behind it, is just another case of anthropomorphic projection, again. This is not to say that there isn't a valid question of "how". There is just not always a "why". These two questions are often conflated by religious people who can't seem to wrap their heads around the difference.

"..creating everything.." - Yet another case of not being able to wrap their heads around the concept that not only isn't everything "created", but that most things are not "created". Human beings create things. That is the only verifiable example of creation that exists in the universe so far. Human beings like to project that perception of creation onto other things that seem complex. Just because something is complex doesn't mean it's created. This simply boils down to an argument from ignorance on the part of religious people.

"..and then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself.." - I've already shown how magic is a hallmark of religious belief, not of atheism, nor of science. Science does very well at describing rationally, logically and with supporting evidence how order can arise from natural physical conditions. Read a science book. If you think your god put stuff together like lego pieces, then describe exactly the method by which he did this and how such a claim can be independently substantiated. Do that, right after you show that your particular god exists and acts upon this universe at all.

"..for no reason what so ever [sic].." - Again with the fallacy that everything has to have a "why"-based reason. If you think that everything has to have such a reason behind it, then do please explain why that is in the first place.

"..into self-replicating bits which then turned into dinosaurs." - Now who's being too simplistic? Oh wait.. it's this sophomoric, fallacy-soaked, straw-man laden attempt at cleverness that has been too simplistic all along.

"Makes perfect sense." - Yes, It does, when you both represent the concepts you're attempting to describe accurately, and know what you're talking about.

I Have Implants!

2011-06-23T22:22:00.003-06:00

Wait. No I don't, despite what iPhone autocorrect may wish to have you know. The word "unopened" is a perfectly good word anyways. Why would it want to change it?

Between Boehner and Dayton

2011-06-21T23:44:00.003-06:00

Why does Governor Mark Dayton.. rr.. Marshall Field.. Macy.. Target?. whatever, always look like he's about ready to cry?

At least he doesn't blubber uncontrollably like Boehner.

We're Not Racist

2011-06-14T16:10:00.007-06:00

At a nearby movie house.

Are the Irish considered a "race"? What criteria go into determining a race of people? Physical considerations, usually, but how about purely cultural or geographic ones. Are Northern Irish people a different "race" than Republic of Ireland folks?
Can ginger people be considered a race? How about people with Down's Syndrome? Things that make ya go blërg.

..But What Else Doesn't it Contain?

2011-06-11T12:33:00.003-06:00

I had breakfast at McDonald's with a friend this morning.

Yes, I know we have better choices, but [fill in excuse here]. One breakfast burrito mummied up tight. I'm not exactly sure what it contained, but I've been successfully duped by their marketing department into perceiving the ingredients as something resembling scrambled eggs, sausage and cheese.

What I was surprised at was their apparent need to tell me what was *not* in the burrito, and what that something was...

Hail Storm

2011-05-10T19:44:00.005-06:00

Suddenly it's hot and humid today. Then we get a hail storm. I went outside in it, to get a hailstone, because I'm smart like that :P I forgot my side door lock was busted and had to run round the front. We'll see if I've raised any bruises.

Buffett Biffs It

2011-01-26T18:39:00.007-06:00

Jimmy Buffett fell off stage in Australia..

Fox news in Minneapolis apparently changes the news item to the collapse of a self-serve food counter :P

I wonder if the buffet in question had any cheeseburgers in paradise?

FAIL

2011-01-11T16:25:00.005-06:00

Just rummaging through old stuff. I found this missing pet flyer that I took from a supermarket on my way through Albert Lea Minnesota in September of 2001.
For those who don't know, Hormel is a meat packing plant. 0_o

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-24T15:48:00.001-06:00

A Joyous Holiday Season to Everyone, and All the Best in the Bright New Year!

Blaspho!

2010-09-30T13:29:00.002-06:00

© weskos, 2010, all rights reserved, all blame taken.

Today is September 30th, 2010: Blasphemy Day. No one has the right to hold their beliefs or sensitivities beyond scrutiny, criticism or lampooning. So, in the spirit of slaughtering sacred cows, I offer you this nsfw piece. "Marital aids" (I love that euphemism! Ha!) for christians.

This may even get my blog demolished by blogspot/blogger, but freedom of expression is worth pushing the envelope.

Yes, you may think this is 'way over the line,' but that's the point now, isn't it? I invite you to examine your own sacred cows. We all have them.

I'd Like to Propose a Toast

2010-09-05T16:14:00.001-06:00

Today, I saw the image of a piece of toast on my Jesus.

Twelve Steps to Religion

2010-07-26T22:34:00.008-06:00

..Apart from those other, overtly religious twelve steps.

1. Give up the idea that you must take responsibility for your own actions.

2. Make your sanity dependent on a notion that the imaginary is more important than the verifiable.

3. Make a decision to turn your will and your life over to an illogical mythical construct, no matter what the consequences.

4. Allow enigmatic and reason-blearing paradoxes to grow like weeds in your mind, and base life-altering decisions upon them.

5. Demand that others respect your right to live in a make-believe world, no matter how ridiculous and counterproductive it may be to society as a whole.

6. Have a gushy sook to your fanciful imaginings about exactly how worthless you are by your very nature. Then parlay the resulting low self esteem into a persecution complex that you can use as a shield against criticism.

7. Insist that only elements within your pretend construct can define it, equate it with the real world, call it special revelation, then claim parity for that circular view alongside empirically and independently confirmed knowledge.

8. Put a pretty name, such as "faith" on gullibility and claim it to be a virtue, while at the same time denigrating healthy critical thinking with the monikers of "closed mindedness" and "cynicism."

9. Because delusion, as well as misery, loves company, demand that others share your fantasy, and begin to live their lives based on it, despite the lack of any evidence for it whatsoever. Then, when they challenge the notion, condemn them with your words, while denying that you are making any judgment of them, hiding behind the notion that the delusion itself is just speaking through you.

10. Demand of those persons who are unconvinced by your desperately unpersuasive and inaccurate descriptions of reality that they must prove a negative regarding your illogical position. But don't then apply that same standard to anything else in your life.

11. Claim direct and real communication between yourself and the imagined personages of your delusions, even though no discernible product of such communication can be demonstrated.

12. Seek, through that attempted communication with the imaginary, and morbid introspection, to completely destabilize your conscious contact with reality, by opting for that fantasy as a solution to real world problems, over actual, proven, hands-on solutions.

12b. End up doing real harm in the world as a result.

Nad's

2010-07-15T23:33:00.002-06:00

When you need all the hair removed from your nads!

Tall God's Children!

2010-07-15T23:24:00.003-06:00

Our god is taller than your god!!.. And as his children, we are also not so vertically challenged!!

Irish Breakfast

2010-07-15T23:13:00.004-06:00

Yes. We can procure such delicacies in the colonies :)

Vader Traitor

2010-07-14T11:42:00.002-06:00

Photoshopped Pix that Turned Out Nice

2010-06-28T23:08:00.004-06:00

Glacier Park
watercolor

Grand Avenue Greens
Poster with black edges.

Genesis of Testicles

2010-06-24T14:07:00.003-06:00

..But for Adam no suitable helper was found. The chimp tried out for the job, and worked for a while, but quickly lost interest in helping Adam. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; Because, ya know, Adam was too quick for God to pin down without knocking him out, and also, anesthetics hadn't been invented yet.

God was a nicer fellow back in those times, not yet having flown off into a rage to kill the thousands upon thousands of people he would do later in this same book. He didn't want what he was going to do to Adam to be too torturous for him. So while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Extra flesh that God just happened to have left over from when he made Adam, but not enough to make a whole other person.

Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man. Ribs are like concentrated condensed flesh, so they can be added to water to make enough flesh to make a whole human being out of, at least when God does it. He made her with the same number of ribs that Adam was going to have after that little surgical procedure, so there would be no evidence that the operation had ever taken place.

And the Lord God said to himself, he said, "I might as well give the man some testicles now, and a scrotum to keep them in, because ya know, now that there's a woman around, he might need them to reproduce." So Adam got testicles, which dangled between his legs like the afterthought they were.

And God said to Eve, which Adam had named the woman. "Now you can give Adam a haircut, because that's the way I like him to look. I would have designed his hair to stop growing at a certain length, but me being the omniscient deity I happen to be, knew that I'd be making you to do that for him. So yeah, go do that then." So Eve went and fashioned two sharp rocks into the first pair of scissors.

Later, after a bit of a tiff with God, they had babies, and when they grew up, they had sex with their children, and those children had sex with each other, though they were brothers and sisters. And thus they populated the earth.

Rob got hot

2010-06-23T00:19:00.002-06:00

Is it just me, or did covering the BP oil spill make CNN's Rob Marciano a lot hotter?

FB Recommendation FAIL

2010-06-20T21:16:00.002-06:00

Really?!.. Really?! FaceBook seems to be stretching it a little.. OK, more than a little.
Thanks to Ken for this little gem.

It's Draw Mohammed Day!

2010-05-20T08:47:00.003-06:00

..or 'depict' him in some way. I choose to show the prophet Mohammed appearing Mary-n-Jesus-like in a slice of soft, ripe cheese. Look..Just there.. Ever so lightly! There he is! Depicted!

As anyone who hasn't been living on Lost island will have heard, some Muslims have a hitch in their craw about having their beloved prophet shown or depicted in any way. This irrational sensitivity has deluded those same Muslims into thinking they can act out violently, to the point of murder, when non-Muslims exercise their freedoms of expression and speech in depicting, cartooning or showing Mohammed.

Mind you. It is not the exercising of those freedoms that is causing the fervor, but the fact that some Muslims *choose* to be offended by this otherwise non-issue. Most Muslims couldn't care less about it. However, the conspicuous silence of those "moderate" Muslims- their failure to condemn the violence and threats committed by their brethren seems to tacitly condone that behaviour, and causes them to share in the culpability.

They seek to curtail our basic rights by using the only tactic available to their primitive intellects, brute intimidation. This is unacceptable.

Therefore, so as not to tacitly condone the behaviour myself, I lend my voice to support those basic rights of expression and speech that must be defended from the irrational.

Come get me, Muslims! I'm easy enough to track down!

In the end though, those wack-job religious fundies are forgetting an important aspect to all this ridiculousness. That little rule about depicting Mohammed applies to them, not to non-Muslims.

Heeere, lemme juss showya... tell.. tell ya how...

2010-05-18T17:13:00.004-06:00

Governor Pawlenty just signed into law a measure making it mandatory to install breathalyzer ignition systems in the cars of convicted drunk drivers to prevent them from starting their cars while drunk.

Sober passengers will supposedly be prevented from blowing into the device and starting the car for the drunk driver, because a "special technique" will be needed, which is only taught to convicted drunk drivers.

Good thing stereotypical drunk drivers consistently slur their speech so drastically that they won't perhaps be able to simply TELL THEIR SOBER PASSENGER THE "SPECIAL TECHNIQUE."

*Facepalm*

No Discrimination at This Restaurant!

2010-05-15T13:02:00.002-06:00

It doesn't matter what species you are. The Uptown Diner in Minneapolis will gladly take your order. Remember to wipe your hooves at the doormat.

Tarantula Abdomens and Kiwi Fruit

2010-05-15T12:54:00.002-06:00

I can't be the only one who's thought this.

Doctor Who Finale

2010-05-04T23:41:00.003-06:00

In response to Brain's preferences for not having The Master, the Daleks, or the Cybermen in this season's finale of Doctor Who...

Rant: Ben Stein's Letter

2010-04-29T01:00:00.004-06:00

This is a bit late as a post here, but I just found this now.
In late 2008 Ben Stein had an email spam letter circulating that happened to end up in my inbox. I had a few things to say about it.

To quote out of context; I agree with the following of Ben Stein's words:
"I think people who believe in God are sick." Otherwise... yeah.

I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Well, no one ever said America was an atheist country.. in fact it isn't a country at all.. it consists of two continents: a northern flavor and a southern.
What IS explicit is the separation of church and state in the US constitution, so to use descriptors such as "atheist" or "religious" to characterize the country would simply be inapplicable. - like describing a solar system as "religious" or "atheist".
Are the people in and of the country "religious" or "atheist"? Of course they are both. As for having one or the other shoved down my throat, I've personally found the "religious" contingent far more proselytizing than the "atheist" folks.

where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

No one says you have to worship celebrities. That's what freedom of idiocy.. I mean religion.. is all about. We all have the right to believe what we wish. That does NOT mean we have the right to worship how we wish, if in fact that action of worship is harmful to others. Belief takes place inside your own head. Worship is an action with potential consequences for the interactive world, and thus should not be an anything goes proposition.

You understand god? Wow! You must have all the answers then.

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

The old "I remember when" cry of the Reactionary! Reminiscing about times that never were.
Celebrating celebrity is a hallmark of the 20th century, so if you're remembering them "good ol' days", they'd have to be as far back as the 1800s. I neither think you're that old, nor do I believe you wish the country to return to those times.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Too late...

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina)

Sounds like a religious set-up question for a religious person to me.

Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.

I suppose it would seem so to those who are distracted by pretentious platitudes.

She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are,

That makes sense, given that god is made up by human beings, and he, as one of our favourite fictional characters, would be imbued with the same emotions as we.

but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools,

Was he ever there to begin with?

to get out of our government

Where he's not needed or wanted.. as it is written!

and to get out of our lives.

As we grow out of any need for him.

And being the gentleman He is,

with a top hat, bow tie and cane…

I believe He has calmly backed out.

I'm sorry, the statement you were attempting to utter has been negated of all reasonable contemplation by the preface, 'I believe…'"

How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?

If god is omnipotent, that would not be a restriction on his action, would it now?

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.

"In light of recent events"... which have been going on throughout human history. Why do apocalypsists always point in surprise at these things?

I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

You think your woes started with Madeleine Murray O'Hare? Why stop there? Why not go further back.. Darwin, Sartre, Nietzsche, ..Galileo.. And any of the many other purveyors of logic and reason.

"She was murdered…"
So nonchalantly mentioned.. as if that would be an appropriate response to her activism.
That seems all too religiously typical. (Reminds me of the thinly veiled threats from RevolutionMuslim towards the South Park guys.)

"complained"? Interesting choice of words to belittle the intent.
I suppose we had to let those pesky negroes free too, when they "complained" about being enslaved.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school.

No one just up and said such a thing, in fact no one said that at all.
The goofy thing can be assigned to reading lists, just like any other work of fiction. It just shouldn't be taught from as if it were a text book.

The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Just because the blah blah has those (among other things) written in it, does not mean that it is the sole, or even the best source of such moral messages. In fact, I would argue that it is indeed one of the worst suggested guides for moral or ethical instruction.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem  

Are parents really so feeble-minded that they can't control their children without beating on them?
If a parent finds a child's misbehavior so very unmanageable, that they must resort to physical violence to assuage their own frustration, then the situation points directly to that parent's lack of coping ability, and lack of suitability as a parent.

( Dr Spock's son committed suicide).

To imply that a supposed suicide of Dr. Spock's son is directly attributable to his theories about childcare is in amazingly poor taste.
Let's blame Lou Gehrig's disease on baseball while we're at it.

And even more poignant perhaps.. ARE THE FACTS!
Dr. Spock's son DID NOT commit suicide, neither is he the least bit dead. This is simply misinformation! (Harkening back to your speech writing days, are we Ben?)

http://www.snopes.com/medical/doctor/drspock.asp

We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

We shouldn't be taking you with a grain of salt either then, I suppose.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

"Now"?! ... Where have you been for the last 5000 years, that you think it has gotten anything but markedly BETTER in the last 200!

Education, nutrition and peaceful coexistence used to be unattainable luxuries for the masses. Now we see them as inalienable rights.
Wanting conditions used to precipitate horrible atrocities between human beings, and they still do, where those necessities are lacking.

If anything we have more ethically conscientious, intelligent, well-balanced young people now than ever before.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

You reference a cause-effect relationship, but the correlation remains completely unfounded.
"If we think about it long and hard enough.."?
If we continue looking inside our own heads for answers to outside questions, we ultimately end up trapped on the other side of the solution. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.

"I think it has..."
Don't you really mean "I believe..."?

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell

Yes.. funny, and Yes.. simple.
The world is only going to hell for those who believe in such a thing.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Or maybe question both with a healthy mind.. giving more credence to newspapers, because they are independently verifiable. .. while on the other hand, it's not even clear WHAT the bible is trying to say.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Because jokes have universal appeal, whereas your lord is only a make-believe monarch to a few.
And no.. Those who believe the religious crap do not think twice about sending it on, they follow blindly, like sheep, without thinking for themselves about the content of such messages.
Those who don't believe in it, either delete it outright, or waste hours responding to it, because it entertains them.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace,

Wait.. Isn't that what cyberspace is for?
And besides, "lewd", "crude", "vulgar", and "obscene" are all vague, subjective assessments, not fit for use in proper critique.

but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.   

And:::
You don't discuss the moistness of your girlfriend's sasquatch with her father.
And you don't talk about your wonderful trip to Vegas to the widow at her husband's funeral.
And you don't show your cub scout troop your new nipple rings.
Because it's INAPPROPRIATE.

Are you laughing yet?   

Hell yeah!

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on    your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they    will think of you for sending it.

So I'm forwarding the message now? When did we decide that?

  Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Maybe because people can be cruel and judgmental.. Oh wait, the christian god reserves the right to be exactly those things!

  Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did.

Is that some sort of passive-aggressive guilt thing you're trying? That's hilarious! I prefer to lampoon it.

But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

Because you've laid out the causes and effects to the exclusion of all other possibilities! Methinks not.

    My Best Regards,

From your self righteous, condescending tower…

Honestly and respectfully,

... But not altogether truthfully or accurately.

   Ben Stein

…'s Money (Cancelled)

Prejidenture Candledates

2010-04-28T23:51:00.000-06:00

I am NOT drunk.... really, I'm not, but if I were, here are some sips of the lung.. tips of the slung.. clips of the .. lames of the predisential candelates.... names...

Hillary Clinton
Clittary Hilton
Hickory Lincoln
Clinical Tickory
Knickery Killton
Litany Nixon
Hilltop Cannery

Mit Romney
Ron Chutney
Rip Chimney
Rim Omni
Knit Pickney

Mike Huckabee
Hike Peekaboo
Nick Knuckleknob
Beep Bugaboo
Hillabee Buckaroo
Bikini Kabob

Barack Obama
Black-O-rama
Binaca Llama
Rack-O-Bambi
Burt Bacharach

sorry to have wasted your time...

One Hundred Years Hence

2010-04-28T23:43:00.003-06:00

An interesting little piece ran on the front page of the January 1, 1901 Newark Daily Advocate (Newark, Ohio). It expounded on the possibilities imagined for advancements in the year 2001. You can find it in the archives of the Paleofuture.com site
I just thought I'd make my own version of it. I love the jargon, concepts and language evolution.

One hundred years hence, what manner of marvels shall adorn our every-day?

Will a man's suit be decanted onto his person before breakfast, or might he take his morning constitutional fully exposed?

Will the steam locomotive require its daily coal concentrated in pastille form?

Will the men of congress tele-phone in the votes of their elected duty?

Will immigrant Moon men tend to dish-washing and street-sweeping as the Formosan or Spaniard does today?

Will the sweet nectar of the orange drip from the pulp in purple?

Will the seamstress employ a petite hammer and nails to hem a gown of gossamer metals?

Will airships serve as arks, traversing the ethers between worlds, to populate them with flora and fauna, two by two?

Will the cuisine of the Eskimo be vended at the neighbourhood grocery?

Will the cones of the spruce be bred to glow like candles on Christmas?

Will common currency be replaced by a small plastic card with a magnetic strip that tallies charges?

Will meat-loaf find its primary ingredient in the cracker barrel, rather than with the butcher?

Will chapeaux and bowlers be festooned with electric lights?

Will mammoth cats chase lap dogs down alleyways?

Will this endeavor prove more tedious than either clever or amusing?

Neologasms

2010-04-28T23:12:00.001-06:00

prostituation n.
- an unplanned or unforeseen circumstance in which one finds oneself having given or taken money and/or gifts that later result in anticipation of obligatory sex.

appearancestors n.
- famous and powerful historic figures to which everyone wants or claims to be descended.

pressert [PRE-zert] n.
- having sweets before the main meal instead of after

instairs/outstairs adv.
- back formation - upstairs, downstairs -inside outside.

gekkomercial n.
- a television add that is so annoying that you have to exert energy to turn it off before you see/hear it again and damage your brain.

pontifingers [LO!] n.
- that blessing hand gesture that Jesus does in those medieval paintings with the index and middle fingers together erect, thumb outward, and the ring and little fingers bent palmward.

Teen Sex Prison

2010-04-28T23:00:00.005-06:00

CNN's Version...

My Version...

Happy Belated Easter.. or whatever

2010-04-28T22:39:00.003-06:00

I Love You More Than Your God Does

2010-03-23T20:43:00.004-06:00

I won't torture you forever because of your nature.
I won't demand that you forsake your friends and family to curry my favour.
I won't obligate you to worship me.
I won't communicate with you in a way that can at best be described as cryptic, and at worst non-existent.
I won't order you to attack or kill people.
I won't require perfection of you to be around me.
I won't tell you to abandon rational thinking, and do what I say without reason.
I won't label you as unworthy, and then place it upon you to overcome my judgment.

I don't need or want any of that.
What am I?
I'm common human friendship.
And yes, that's right.
I love you more than your god does.

Fedoralingo Quiz

2010-03-16T16:36:00.003-06:00

I thought I put this up a while ago, but I guess not. Well, here it is! Here what is, you ask? The Fedoralingo Quiz! Can't you read titles? What's "Fedoralingo?" you ask? Well, lemme tell ya! A "fedora" was a popular hat the fellas wore back in the 30's and 40's in the good ol' U.S. of A., see? A perfect symbol for the particular brand of slang, or "lingo," that they used back then.

So c'mon along and dip your toes into some fedoralingo! And feel free to make one of your own using whatever slang or regional dialect you happen to know!

1) Why, I oughta come on over there and give ya...

a) what for.
b) a piece of my mind.
c) a knuckle sandwich.

2) Get a load of...

a) the gams on that dame.
b) the stiffs in this rinky-dink gin joint.
c) the riffraff in this two-bit flophouse.

3) What's all the...

a) hubbub, bub?
b) ballyhoo, buddy-boy?
c) folderol, fellas?

4) You ain't so slick, ya big...

a) galoot!
b) lug!
c) chump!

5) You fellas got the skinny on...

a) that swanky new jalopy?
b) that snazzy little number?
c) that ritzy ol' broad?

(P.S. This is not actually a quiz, as any one of the answers given works fine for each question.)

Wafflecube

2010-03-06T15:35:00.004-06:00

Inspired by Isaac's suggestion from March 5th on

http://twitter.com/ChaoticIsaac

I give you Wafflecube, the cake-stuffed wafflestructure. An important part of this balanced, nutritional brunch.
The tesseract version gave me indigestion.

Image of Mother of Son of Ceiling Cat

2010-02-10T09:39:00.002-06:00

I saw an image of the mother of the son of Ceiling Cat, who looks surprisingly like Ceiling Cat, burnt into my toast this morning.
... ebay?

Average Americano

2010-01-09T16:24:00.002-06:00

The elevator at the Marriott Hotel in Minneapolis seems to expect a person in America to average 350 lbs. That's 159 kg. , 25 stone. .. Also notice the Health Club on the 7th floor! Things that make you go hmm.

Easter Candy.. A Little Too Happy

2009-04-11T10:12:00.003-06:00

There's a candy store in the 6Quebec building right across Marquette from the Wells Fargo Building in downtown Minneapolis. In the window they have oversized (for some perhaps) replicas of candies in a display. I can not believe this was created and arranged innocently. Wouldn't you just love to get one of those in your easter basket?

The well laid plans of mice and sheiks

2009-03-28T19:12:00.002-06:00

A week off in cappy land.

2008-08-22T18:08:00.003-06:00

Japanese is over for the summer. I now have a week "off" until Fall semester starts next Tuesday.

The Japanese TA for my class recommended I look into working at the writing center at the U, and get paid for what I've been doing for friends and colleagues on many occasions, for free.

So many little things I could be "not doing for free". Graphic design. Translation. Tutoring. Writing stories... music. Tooting my own horn. etc. But.. that wouldn't be very 55th century of me now would it? [what does he mean by that?]. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth to think of asking for payment to do things I enjoy doing anyway. It would be like.. - "Can you please help me cross the street, young man?" - "Sure, but it'll cost ya!"

I guess I need to get over that feeling if I'm to survive in cappy land.

Life after Death?... What?

2008-08-06T18:06:00.003-06:00

I often have extreme difficulty understanding how human beings process and prioritize the perceptions of their world. The concept of life after death, or rather, the yearning for such a thing, is puzzling to me.

Our reality is made up of many dimensional facets, the perfunctory ones being length, width, height and time. We are a natural part of that construct, and we function perfectly well as such. As an individual; one of many, I occupy a finite portion of that construct. This is, of course, necessary to function properly. If any of my dimensional aspects were to be changed to a value of infinity, I would no longer function correctly in reality. Imagine a person infinitely tall or infinitely wide. That would entail immobility at the least. This is why a desire for infinite life, i.e. infinite time is not reasonable to me. It would be like wishing you were infinitely tall.

Given this information, my question is, why would human beings find immortality or "life after death" desirable?

Thanks for thinking with me on this.

I have been

2008-07-27T14:27:00.002-06:00

I have been very busy... OK.. yeah.. I know.. everyone says that. Well. Here's my junk. I've been taking an intensive course in Japanese this summer. M-F, 8AM to Noon. It is really doing wonders for my abilities in that language.

On top of that, I've been lucky enough to receive a FLAS [Foreign Language Area Studies] fellowship from the Consortium for the Study of the Asias, that will pay for the course.

This means Yay.

Also.. I'll be teaching the third level Irish class at Gaeltacht Minnesota starting this Fall. I'm now proud to count myself among the stellar instructors there. Well... I mean to say.. The instructors there are stellar, and now they're getting me in the mix. We'll see how things fly.

This also means Yay.. but busy Yay.

Chikezie no likey Ryan touchy touchy

2008-04-12T21:13:00.002-06:00

After Ryan went and grabbed ahold of Chikezie's head after one performance early in the season, it appears as if he's grown a bit wary of Ryan's roaming hands.

Cosmic Pedo

2008-03-22T14:50:00.004-06:00

Yes, I'm evil. But this is an actual scene from 1958's The Cosmic Man with John Carradine.... OK.. well, maybe I remixed it a LITTLE bit, but the original scene is quite pedo-creepy.

Lapp?

2008-03-18T11:39:00.002-06:00

I don't think the Saami people like being called the L word, and I was surprised to see this sign in the Mpls Ikea...

Clickity Clackity Clickity Clack

2008-02-21T18:01:00.004-06:00

OK.. here's one of my pet peeves.

I find those commercials very annoying, that use the sound of a keyboard clickity-clacking as letters are apparently "typed" on the screen to reveal the ad message. Do you know the ones I'm referring to?

I guess I should be happy. Those used to use the old-fashioned typewriter sound.

Completely off topic, but I just noticed something...

...O to the M to the G! What is up with Christian Slater's shiny forehead?! Is it coated with acrylic or something?!

Aifreann

2008-02-13T21:17:00.003-06:00

When you can't get to sleep, there's always Aifreann! (For those of you who speak Irish)

I Don't Need These...

2008-01-07T11:37:00.001-06:00

The commercial says something like, "I can even find items in this purse blindfolded!"

[Because often times when I'm blindfolded, I need to find my glasses. But if I had my glasses on, I'd be able to find them in my purse more easily.]
.... What?! ... What were we talking about again?!

That Musta Been Some Turkey

2008-01-03T20:40:00.000-06:00

They try to warn against the improper use of those deep friers
[Yes I make light of world tragedy]

A Painful Place to Eat

2007-12-17T10:32:00.000-06:00

Merry Exmas!!

2007-12-11T15:16:00.000-06:00

Peter Griffin | Woman's Shirt

2007-11-16T21:55:00.000-06:00

Did you ever notice that Peter Griffin is wearing a woman's shirt. Take a look at which side the buttons are on. This evidence, coupled with the fact that he tried to nurse Stewie once, leads me to believe that he may in fact (.. in cartoon fact) be a woman.

That Avada Clinic dude and Bert

2007-11-16T13:45:00.001-06:00

Grand Nagus Zek and this African Person

2007-10-19T20:52:00.000-06:00

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

I'm justice smart ass, you.

2007-10-19T20:43:00.000-06:00

When someone asks, "What's up?" I have to say, " 'Up' is the direction away from the nearest and strongest center of gravity."
This is because I'm so damned clever and smug.

OK.. now here's a more difficult one.. What's "in"..
You may not use the word "in" in your definition, nor any word containing "in-" or "en-".

Show your work, and only use a number two pencil. Points will be deducted for consulting god or gods for your answer.

Dirty Bath Towels

2007-10-06T07:01:00.000-06:00

OK... here's something. How come we have to wash bath towels? Aren't we supposed to be clean when we step out of the shower? If we're drying our "clean" bodies off with a towel, then the towel should be perpetually clean, shouldn't it? ... And thus begins my stand-up comedy routine.

Hey Hey I'm the. . .Monkey?

2007-10-01T08:46:00.000-06:00

3M Sues Self for Patent Infringement

2007-09-29T08:37:00.000-06:00

Devil Blames Self for Carnage

2007-09-28T07:41:00.000-06:00

(Reprint correction from previous issue "Devil Blames Elf for Carnage" - 1/15/07)

A written confession by Satan as deposed to the L.A.P.D. office of pre-representative interrogation:

I started talking to myself recently. Ya know, I tend to be quite a lonely guy. I must admit, being the Prince of Darkness doesn't put me at the top of the social calendar. With that I began to mumble to myself under my breath - breath of fire and brimstone, of course. ; ) My voice became clearer and louder, from a whisper to an evil, gravelly baritone. At first I couldn't make out what I was saying, but then it became overwhelming. I was telling myself to go out and commit acts of horrible, bloody flesh-churning violence. Not just telling - commanding. Without being fully cognizant of my actions, I turned suggestion into bone shattering reality. What was I to do but obey. Well, some may say "just don't obey", but they fail to realize just what a relentlessly manipulative terror I can be to a tortured, lonely, outcast soul such as myself. Long story short - limbs, guts, heads on poles. You get the picture. All because the Devil wouldn't take no for an answer. Even now I can hear the evil bastard ratting me out. Anyhooz, that's that in a nutshell.

© 2007 wjk It Becomes a Thing

Wieners Found to Contain Bologna; Vice Versa

2007-09-27T17:27:00.001-06:00

Infographic

2007-09-25T08:24:00.000-06:00

Ramen Anois!

2007-09-11T08:38:00.000-06:00

This reporter's name got me pinching myself to see if I was asleep and having a weird dream. My mind could easily have pulled "Ramen Anois!" from Julie Rogue's recent comment to Máire's state fair pic on Scáitháinín Mháire.
... Yeah... I know... his facial expression - You shouldn't chew toffees when you're drunk. (or taffee, if you're an American)

First Day of Class...

2007-09-04T22:28:00.000-06:00

Today was my first day of class back at the U of M to start my Masters (and hopefully continue on with my Doctorate) Degree.

One class today.. Another new one tomorrow.

Only one difficulty with the class. I came in and sat down - pretty much in the very middle of the herd of desks, so as to seem neither too eager nor too cloaked. Immediately, a swarm of very good-looking guys rustled in and proceeded to arrange themselves tightly around me, as if I were the 5 in a key pad, and they the remaining numbers. With that, I new my concentration on matters serious and pertinent to my education - at least for this class - would be strenuously challenged, if not DOOMED.

Linguistics guys aren't supposed to be cute?! WTF!

[I yoinked the above passage from an email I sent earlier today. I thought it was so descriptive that I just had to post it here too.]

Mo Dhroim

2007-08-04T10:12:00.000-06:00

Chaith mé… nó “theilg” mé mo dhroim as alt Dé Máirt seo caite.
Chrom mé síos d’fhonn mealbhacán uisce a thógáil as an gcuisneoir agus mé a ghortú mo dhroim mar sin. Thuigfeadh Máire an staid agus an pian atá orm anois.
Níor féidir liom cuir an rud trom ar ais sa gcuisneoir, mar sin d’ith mé é uilig.

Old Posts

2007-07-25T21:50:00.000-06:00

A hundred years ago, back when the internet was a mere mass of text... well, o k, still, .. sometime within this new century, but far enough back... I put some neologisms up on a site that has now become a wiki! I just remembered having done that, and had to go track it down again. I can hardly remember my exact entries... sad face.. but will have to look through the whole word list now in order to find them all. - not so unfun. Now that it's a wiki though, there is no credit given to the contributors, so my word babies now float freely in commonspace without any reference to where they came from. THAT is how etymologies get broken, and we have entries in Merriam Webster like this:

Cuddle
etymology: uhhhhhhhh. Ah dunnooooo, eh?
(I wonder if it might be related to the Irish word codladh? j/k)

I remembered these as being my contributions. Some were words I used with friends and family; some were words I cobbled together for fun:

Gloopgleep
unedited from the original version! Yay!

B'weet
pronunciation key incorrectly edited by someone who thought IPA wasn't good enough. Vowel in place of apostrophe should be a schwa. What do they think this is a sci fi alien's name?

Drizzmial
nicely unchanged.

Fedoralingo
Pretty much as I wrote it.

Kantapa
something with the text encoding makes the ää appear as question marks. What's that about? ... And I guess my cousin's grandma has become my own?

Stop-afoot
Almost forgot about this one.

Now I just have to figure out how to get my credit put back on my entries. I see that there are entries attributed to some specific names.

Ama fell a teg

2007-07-10T15:01:00.000-06:00

Dunno ba may be a ma fell a teg. So saem ma do ga nanojeet imma nomo da tell me wat. Wanna da gy da halla me bauda saem nausi tay ba de do halla nhn yet. Ay no hekka cip. Ba dan me fell abit a teg bauda. Ama go da Winona se weekens bauda nausi sy ne so my set. Gonna be hay kay. Now ma gonna see du a han halla sam wan ada gy hu kan nausi dy Irish say tak sam tym sun. hopee gonna halla me sun. Kay dassit.

Griandóite

2007-07-03T12:48:00.001-06:00

Tá mé griandóite thuas ar mo cheann, faoi mo chuid gruaige. An arú deireadh seachtaine seo caite, bhí mé amuigh ag an bhfeis Bróid na nAerach anseo, agus bhí mé amuigh faoin ngrian dhá lá ar fad. Anois, tá mé ag scamhadh is ag scoitheadh mo chraiceann.

fotos un alte freinde

2007-07-01T20:47:00.000-06:00

heit hat me ken di fotos von sai reis nah spanien endli ezaig. Ih wurde au a bishe aifesuehti, un wollte selbe wiede nah eiropa raisa - viellaih ais tages mit ihm.

danah simmir zim cafe eganga, un ih hab a paar alte freinde seha, ai von dene sih ab un zi iberaistimmen in mai leba ziet. hofenli koenamir diesmal lenger in kontak blaiba. Mi werda seha.

tjan tjan tai kai kaal. ullaheinamokkan

2007-06-24T08:31:00.000-06:00

Eisugan sennostaa tjan tjan tai kai najanadasun, ja ullaheinamokkan. Ullagaa akjeina natu gahaandun, aalmevoga oskalos nakipa istava iga, namiiuoun. Auanguha oska sunjiva agoiatu.
muonja sennostaagahaan miiova jennua nanadasogi ain, giihai kaan, tiisati haai naanil.

An bhlag agus an bhlag eile

2007-06-10T09:43:00.000-06:00

Rinne mé le Máire blag eile aréir.

http://7rl.blogspot.com/

Cuirfidh muid suas rudaí faoi an teanga Ghaeilge, chomh maith le "catagoacha" - "lolcats" atá orthu as Béarla. Tá súil agam ab fhéidir linn é a choinneáil. Sílim go mbeidh sé taithí mhaith.

Bhí mé i rith an lae inné istigh i mo shuí riomh an ríomhaire. Ní raibh sé go maith do mo chorp, agus bhí mé ar cur beagán fola istigh i mo shúil dheis. Rachaidh sé chun sochair dom dul amach inniu ar feadh scathaimh.

Níl a fhios agam cé ag Ken, agus a phictiúir a thurais. Duirt sé go dtaispeána sé iad orainn inniu, b'fhéidir.

One Answers a Questionnaire

2007-06-09T09:51:00.000-06:00

1. In five words or less, describe what you do for a living. (Don't be cute.)

 
I learn. I wait.

2. If you were worth $40 billion and had already bought and donated everything you wanted to, would you spend $40 million on a beautiful Van Gogh painting?

No. I don’t like Van Gogh.

3. Would you spend $40 million on a 200-foot yacht?

 
Yes. Then I would put $40 million worth of treasure in it and sink it. Then, hundreds of years from now someone will find it and remark, “Wow! Some idiot thought we would find this and be rich, but this treasure isn’t worth anything these days.”

4. How many times have you been engaged to be married?

The same number of times any black person or woman went to vote in the 1880 presidential elections.

5. Did you have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend in high school?

 
I didn’t have a steady one, or an unsteady one.

THREE MARX BROTHERS-THEMED QUESTIONS:

 6. Have you ever had a day at the races?

 
I don’t know what this is referring to.

7. Have you ever had a night at the opera?

 
I have been to an opera. It sucked. My mind was on other things.

8. Have you ever eaten duck soup?

Yes

9. If you accomplish something major that you're proud of, and nobody gives you any credit for it, does that bother you?

I’m constantly being offered credit. I just throw them in the trash. But seriously, the worth of any “something major” would stand on its own.

10. Of all the things that your "dream house" will have (which your current place of residence does not), what are the three most important?

 
light… air… color…

11. Who is the most famous person you've ever met? ("Met" = at least exchanged two words with face-to-face, preferably shook hands with)

I’m not saying.

12. Have you ever seen a U.S. President in person? (You didn't have to meet him)

 
I’ve probably met an ancestor of some future president.

13. If you go to a favorite restaurant, do you always order the same dish or do you mix it up a bit?

Hellz yeah. I’m so predictable that I even eat the items in the same order.

14. When was the last time either of your parents saw you naked?

 
No.

15. What town did you grow up in? What was the best thing about it? The worst thing?

 
I was a kid in Big Timber Montana. The best thing about it was the cute boys. The worst thing about it was that those cute boys would have lynched me for being gay.

I was a teenager in Grand Rapids Minnesota. The best thing about it was the cute boys. The worst thing about it was that those cute boys would have lynched me for being gay.

16. What town do you live in now? What was the best thing about it? The worst thing?

I live in Minneapolis. It is the most awesomest city ever! … and it’s getting better all the time. All we’re missing is an ocean and some mountains. I’m all for bringing back Lake Agassiz. I’ll get my little plastic shovel and start on some mountains.

17. When you Google your name, in quotes, how many results do you get?

 
They're all dead guys. (None of them me….. yet)

18. What's your astrological sign, and do you think your personality is typical of that sign's supposed traits?

I’m a Sagittarius, so I guess, no, because I don’t have a bow and arrows, and I don’t have a horses ass…. Oh… personality? Well, how am I supposed to know what kind of personality a guy who’s half horse would have?

19. What household items do you have more of than you need?

 
None. Give me household items.

20. Name something you ate all the time as a kid that you wouldn't touch now.

 
I pretty much move forward with my food repertoire. I add things eaten. I don’t subtract them.

I Don't Like the Word Blog

2007-06-09T07:46:00.000-06:00

Did I ever mention that I don't like the word "blog". It sounds like a log that is covered with that stuff that washes up on the beach. It's kind of foamy, but has chunks of detritus suspended in it. You know that stuff. Well, I don't like that stuff. I guess I've heard that stuff called "shlog", but that sounds too much like german whipped cream... I guess... Not enough not to have it influence my feeling about blogs.